To be a good listener, all of you – your mind as well as your body – has to be there. To listen, you need to put aside other thoughts. Concentrate on the speaker. Don’t worry about your to-do list. It won’t ever go away. Only then can you listen and really hear what children may be saying.

As writer Pepper Schwartz said, “Conversation at home has stiff competition.”

Keep this in mind: You have two ears and one mouth so listen twice as much as you talk. Children who know that their parents hear them are less likely to feel alone when faced with pressures.

To hear better than ever:

* Hang around your kids.

* Start early (even with your newborn baby as I’ve been watching Maggie do!) and don’t ever stop.

At three weeks, Evangeline is already listening to her mother Maggie!

* Tone of voice is critical. “What” can easily turn into a four-letter word when your volume is turned up to a strident point.

* Angry? Wait before you open your mouth to speak. Being in good shape is important. Think: Am I preoccupied, hungry, furious, frustrated or too tired to think?

* Ask the right questions. And don’t use that word “why” to start off. “Why” will always put someone, especially a child, on the defensive.